How to Turn Off a Man

March 7, 2010

Now, sometimes you end up in a conversation or on a date with someone who really just isn’t doing it for you but isn’t actually doing or saying anything wrong.  In fact, he actually seems kind of sweet, but you just aren’t that attracted to him.  You don’t want to offend him or hurt his feelings, but you don’t want to go out with him again.

What are some things you can do or say to turn him off in a subtle and believable way without coming across like a cold-hearted bitch? First you must evaluate his susceptible  points…then play to them.

  • He is independent and has not had a history of long-term relationships? Feign clinginess even if you are the Bounce dryer sheet of daters.
  • He is ready to settle down and start a family?  Talk about all the world traveling and jungle trekking you have lined up for the next five years.
  • He doesn’t like to travel? Ditto the above, plus talk about all the places you have already been and how you would love to move to another country at some point.
  • He is a picky eater? Regale him with your collection of recipes for offal and tales of pig carving.

My experience has been that men are less forgiving of women’s “faults” then women are of men’s “faults” so these tactics are slightly more effective when used upon men.  A lot of women will just think they can “fix” men who do not agree with them.  Men who are perfectly happy with who they are.

This tactic only works (for me) when the person is generally fairly nice, but just doesn’t have that “it” factor that makes you think about them that way…basically the nice guys who get the “let’s be friends” speech.  For guys that are just jerks I either tell in so many scathing words to go do unnatural things with other species (still working on this skill in Italian) or I pull the guy maneuver and just don’t respond (the technique being used on Nipple Boy.)

When NOT to use this technique—when there is a good possibility that Mr. Not Right has friends who could be Mr. Right or if the chances of frequent encounters with mutual friends will make your efforts at trying to spare his feelings all for naught.  I normally suggest straightforward honesty for almost all situations, but I just hate hurting a guys feelings when he has done absolutely nothing wrong.


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